1500

Detail from "The Pit of Hell"

It has been approximately one thousand five hundred days since my last post.  So much is contained within these days passed.  So much life.  So much death.  Seeing, dreaming, learning, suppressing, sleepless nights, motherhood, etal.

My life has been both enriched and pummeled by the world around me.  The "noise" of life, at times, nearly drowns out the creative spirit within.  It can be difficult to hit the mute button.  I do not twitter.  I do not do Facebook. Yet, the behemoth mouthpieces of media are unavoidable as they "shout" in silent electronic transmission.  So much blather... sound bites and spittle.

In the past 4 years, I have focused on family.  Two of my three sons are now grown.  The washing machine does not run nearly so much, but somehow the trash still goes out numerous times a week.  Travel is also a highlight.  France, Germany, England, Scotland, Canada, Colorado, Montana, California.  Of particular note were hiking hiking in Glacier National Park, to Mount Assiniboine in Canada and lastly in the Highlands and Isle of Skye.  Pausing atop a mountain peak to look out upon the world, vast and greater than any one person.  It is my greatest joy.

The sadder moments including the passing of my brother, witnessing the dissolution of culture, the rise of division around the globe.  If I have learned one thing: destruction is the easier path.  It takes tremendous energy to be creative.

I do so love to write, and at times I feel I do have something to say to anyone who cares to listen.  My words will always be of a creative type.  A message that encourages, is positive and optimistic.  Words that may sooth the soul of another and provide positive inspiration.  I am a positive person.  And while the world spins so loudly at times so as to rip us apart, I close my studio doors and enter into a timeless space to revisit my soul, my hopes and dreams.  I seek a refuge in form and text.

It's funny.  I used to imagine life like a Lazy River where most people "float" along somewhat oblivious to the passing of time, perhaps only glancing at the the scenery, never knowing where they are going.  In this scenario, I always imagined myself escaping from the mass migration down the river and swimming to the bank.  I would climb to get a better view.  Understand where I was.  Think about where I wanted to go.  I needed to be removed from the flow of everyday life, to gain a perspective.  Then recently, I woke very early one morning with a revelation.  I understood, that while I had a view, I wasn't going anywhere.  So I reversed the scenario and I imagined everyone "stuck" on the bank,  chattering away idly while time drifted by.  Now I was moving along the waters, tiller in hand, wind at my back.  I was going to go somewhere.  The major difference in my point of view is that with this image in mind, I am the one moving forward, steering my craft.  Although I need to withdrawal from every day life,  I had allowed myself to become stuck on the bank.  I hesitated to float in the river, like everyone else, because the chatter and noise of everyday life drowned out my creative side.  I had become suppressed and clouded.  But now I can navigate.  I can change my heading.  I have wind at my sails.  No inner tube for me.  It's how I move thru the busy streets.  The sudden change in perspective pulled me out of my hiatus and brings direction and momentum.

I will close by stating that the one thing that remained constant in these 1500 days has been my goal and vision for Paradiso.  At last a measure of peace and space has come to me in 2016.  I am moving again with renewed energy and vigor.  I begin anew, seeking to complete what I began in 1994.  I will need to find my calculator to figure out how just many days that has been.  But do I really want to know?