Between

I find myself in between - between young and old... between the span of active motherhood & passive motherhood... between purpose and indifference, between church and faith... between passion & desire... between loads of laundry and dishes... between winter and spring.

I read a passage from the hymnal "do not look for me among the dead, for I am hidden in pain." Pain. Why pain? Why must we work thru pain to find the the deeper meanings? Is it only thru pain that we are rattled from our happy stupor, our intoxication of the happy surface? We sense God and Spirit in joy, but do we truly learn?

The song continues: "risen in love, there is no harvest without sowing of grain." Sowing of the grain: Dharma and Karma. Dharma is our life path, our duty, the reason why we are here. Karma is the energy - acquired via actions... energy that is transformed into either creative light or a destructive stain.

Father said, "we place our saints in glass, so that the light can shine thru them." Within each of us The Light exists, but how much light do we emit? Everyday we can look and see those in whom the light shines brightly, and others whose light is obscured or obliterated by the grime and stains of destructive action. Only in service and creative diligence can we polish the glass in order to permit the light to shine through. If I dare to suggest, I believe this to be the true purpose of our lives and our highest goal.

In the Divine Comedy, all of Paradiso is about this Light. Dante prays to convey just a hint of what he has seen. Yet he also fears that he falls "between." Between knowing and describing... between heaven and earth... between mortality and immortality... between bliss and an attempt to describe the indescribable.

Perhaps I can turn this being "between" into a creative and positive experience. Perhaps I can slip between action and inaction... slip between the tick of the clock, into that silent place where the Light is found... to the place where "one is transformed within that Light that it would be impossible to think of ever turning one's eyes from that sight." Paradiso Canto XXIII Perhaps being "In Between" is a good thing.